実はネ、拙者を含めて多くの外国人がホザいて来た「ニッポンの人種差別」というのは、事実無根の愚痴に過ぎない。「『外人』は差別用語」だの「人に見られている」だの弱音を吐くより、先ずは全面的に自分達の日本語能力をレベルアップした方が遥かに得策。他人の国に住んでるのにその言葉をちゃんと学ぼうともしない我々外人＝差別用語を語る資格の無い、迷惑的な存在だけだ。せやから、理不尽な主張を抜かす前に責任を取りましょう。何よりもここは日本で、国の主は日本国民（俺らも税金払ってんだけどね（笑））。そんなに辛い想いをしてるなら、他に200カ国ぐらいの国家がそこら辺に轉がってるし・・・

っちゅう事を、僕とYouTubeのTkyoSamが英語圏の皆さんに、今回のビデオを通して伝えたいと思った譯。殘念ながら内容は英語のみなんだけど、まあ、ターゲット層も英語圏の奴らだから或る程度合理的な選択かと存じまする！因みに、ワイは「植物中心食生活」（←関係ねえだろうがよ！^_^）のお陰で結構減量してるので、興味のある方は是非ご覧あれ！・・・やっぱり無いか・・・

Not really. In fact, not at all. In fact, people need to shut the truck up, learn Japanese (especially reading and writing), and stop overanalyzing every interaction they have in Japan like some kind of sociopathic girlfriend. As much fun as it is to try to demonize Japan, certain highly vocal countries which shall remain nameless have more racism between the cracks of their pinkie fingernails than Japan does in all 120 odd million of its bodies put together. We all need to give the people of the J-land a break (they’re busy at it is), and learn to have the finesse — I’m one to talk — to discern “racism” from misunderstanding from culture from just being a jerk. If you must hate something, hate individuals.

That’s the basic idea of the video was very kindly put up by TkyoSam. TkyoSam’s like “Konnichiwa, motherlover! I want sushi!”, and I’m like “No! I implement Fuhrman! Look how I’ve regained my girlish figure!” and he’s like “Like I give a truck! You don’t have to eat, just come! We’re recording video!”.

So we’re there, getting around like 寿司 on a 回転, recording a video while I eat peanuts out of my bag…Anyway, yeah — here ya go. Two parts.

And to the housing thing, let me add, you will never ever be prevented from living in nice places or from making PILES of dough in this country. And isn’t that what really matters? There’s really nothing to complain about. I mean, what, are we babies that need everyone around us to smile and applaud whenever we expel waste (グー！)? Is that it (for the record, I would actually like that, but this is early 21st century Japan, where most people simply have-no-time-for-you)? Extreme example…but it hints at something: namely, that what most people are really missing may be a loving family environment.

Remember: no likey = no havey to stayey. There are about 200 countries in the world, no use getting itchy haemmorrhoids over 1 [that’s smaller than California!].

Look…ok?…It was late; we were talking; the camera’s on; I have strange quirks and gestures from my childhood (“Mommy loves you! It’s not your fault!”). Then 龍 is all “come on, dawg…I don’t have any make-up on, don’t put me in the video”, so then I cut him out, and there’s no background music and you have no idea how long it took just to make this one sucky video but I’ll keep improving and now you can stop asking me whether I can actually speak Japanese the end.

And now…I’m going to go eat fruit.

And yes, this counts as “Khatzumoto: The Movie”. There! Are you feeling anticlimactic now? “Khatzumoto: The Grainy 8-Minute One-Cut YouTube Video”. The joy…

Um…this really was ad hoc. TkyoSam walked into my fortress of solitude while I was watching Dragon Ball Z in Cantonese, and turned his camera on. My posture, hair and make-up would make any mother weep. (To Mum: deal). Notice how the Cantonese ball kept rolling even while we used this non-Cantonese thing.

It’s funny because we’d tried making semi-scripted versions of this before, with digital effects and light sabers and Gollum, so I figured this was just us doing our umpteenth “screen test”. But the rawness of this is cool. Thank ye, Sam of Tkyo!

Anyway…yeah. Video. Me. In. Three parts.

今回、スペシャルゲストとして、ユーチューブで超有名のTkyoSamをお迎えしております。ご清聴あれ！

Jubilation! After a long wait, the podcast has come to it’s magical third episode! Today, we welcome Youtube’s one and only TkyoSam as our special guest. Rissun!

The mp3 file of the podcast that is being referred to in the title of this post.

Once again, special thanks to Kevin son of McLeod for the music.

トニー、宜しくね！

For your reading pleasure, here’s the script he transcribed.

And here’s the manganization by Keiko…It ended up being 5 齣….rejoice!

Here’s the cast of pod….

Special thanks to Kevin of the House of McLeod for the music.

Hint: the challenge is to transcribe the program. Winner gets be四齣漫画ed by Keiko…

The idea is to do a bunch of these really short (3 minute-ish) thingies. Feel free to shout out your requests in terms of things you’d like to hear us talk about. Use email or comments. OK, well, 4649 knee.

Here is the first one…indeed, the only one so far.

Special thanks to Kevin of the House of McLeod for the music.