Update 2013/2/15: The Moë Sentence Pack is no longer available. Maybe she’ll be out again next year. Maybe never again. Who knows? Congratulations to everyone that got one 🙂 .

It’s Valentine’s Day season, yo! That’s right. Singles Awareness Day…season. The season of the day when single people become painfully aware of their singleness. Or not. Whatever. Anyway. Yeah. Valentine’s Day. VD ¹. Sex, chocolate and…sexy sentences. What more appropriate time of year to release the latest version of this, the single most inappropriate AJATT product ever created.

The Moë Sentence Pack

The Moë Sentence Pack will be available only until February 14, Earth time at the very latest, and may get pulled of the market before that. It’s that dangerous. It’s that hardcore. It’s that sexy. And it’s that sinful.

This is not your father’s sentence pack. Your father would blush at its content. Yeah, it’s so bad that it’s the one your mother bought, owns and keeps in secret, at the back of the closet, behind the good shoes she never wears, in the circular Louis Vuitton box ². This thing is dynamite. And so it will not be for sale for a limited time to a limited number of people. Because I can’t just have content like this just flying around AJATT.com.

Truth be told, I’m actually not a prude — I laugh a little too hard at Quagmire in Family Guy for that to be true — but I do have a carefully constructed, clean-cut, prudish image to protect. Think of me as your local priest or politician: lascivious things are happening, but we’re certainly not advertising the fact. I don’t go around talking about how I’m constantly involved with hookers and blow, because talking about that kind of thing is just in poor taste. So, hypocritical as it may seem (read: is), I can’t just have content like this just flying around AJATT.com.

In fact, I’m so image-conscious that I actually didn’t even make the Moë Sentence Pack. I didn’t. Some chick I know ³ — Momoko — did. It was her idea. She made it. She had the moral degeneracy to come up with the idea, did the research and compiled it from raw Japanese sources. And then, despite advertising it briefly (and under protest), I totally put a lid on it. It was too risqué, too ヤバい, too raunchy. For the longest time, I simply couldn’t bring myself to sell it. Because it’s that raunchy. Because I can’t just have content like this just flying around AJATT.com.

Because I cannot, will not, must not go down in history as the man who sexualized Valentine’s Day.

It ain’t raht.

…

The MoëSP continues in the illustrious tradition of My First Sentence Pack (MFSP), giving you real Japanese as it’s used by, for and among actual Japanese people. No Japanese for foreigners here. No whitewashing here. This is…this is 玄米, baby. Brown rice. Raw. This is wholewheat Japanese, not the wonderbread kind they try to shove down your throat in so-called institutions of learning around the world.

This is not that kind of website. But the MoëSP is that kind of sentence pack. It’ll be available only until day’s end of February 14 at the latest. If I get too many compaints about how hardcore it is, I am pulling the plug, and it might never be released again. If it gets too popular, I am pulling the plug because I will do whatever it takes to safeguard my chances of becoming the second Kenyan President of those United States. Khatzumoto 2020 for the win! Assuming news of the contents of this sentence pack doesn’t leak out, that is. Momoko’s hippy liberationism be damned: some of us have a priestly politician image to protect. I can’t just have content like this just flying around AJATT.com.

I don’t want too many people to get their hands on the MoëSP. It’s too dangerous.

So let’s say you’ve come this far, you’re adventurous, you like it a little…you know…titillating….a little prurient…a little Quagmirey, and you want a copy of the MoëSP. Now what? Well, just to be nice, I’m giving away not one, not two, not three but five free bonuses with each copy of the MoëSP:

• 1 free month of AJATT Plus — premium multimedia AJATT content combined with access to the AJATT+ Forum: The Most Intelligent, Civilized and Trolless Forum in the Multiverse (for free!)
  • Your AJATT Plus subscription will automatically continue beyond the first, free month unless you cancel it.
  • If you don’t want the subscription at all, you may cancel it at any time (even right after you purchase) and still keep your free month of AJATT Plus anyway. Aren’t I awesome?
• 1 free copy of the MCD Revolution Core Kit (for free, yo), so you can learn how to get the most out of your MoëSP. This alone is worth $24.95 (and that’s just the price — it’s worth infinitely more if you think of the value you’re going to get out of it 🙂 ).
  • The original “10,000 Sentences” method is long dead, but sentence packs remain healthy and delicious fodder for MCDs. If this were a complete breakfast, they’d be a part of it.
• 1 free copy of ARES-3: The Science Fiction Sentence Pack1 lifetime (yes, lifetime) of free, instant access to MoëSP extensions and updates (for free, playa!)
  • Ever wanted to know how to say those Star Trek and Star Wars and Stargate and pretty-much-anything-with-robots-or-“star”-in-it lines in Japanese? Want to have fun and learn how to talk about math and science at the same time? You’re gonna with this bad boy.
    
  • This guy alone is worth $29.95. Look at you go — you buy one sentence pack and you get one free. You’re just getting drenched in awesome sauce here. Look at you, all wet — can I get you towel? 😛
• 1 free smile…not in real life, but in my heart, where smiles and other wanton emotional displays belong (for free, son ⁴! a free smile for free! ← WOW ⁵).
• All 100% DRM-free. No DRM whatsoever: I hate DRM. I trust you. You’re a good person. I know you’re not going to screw me over. I believe you should and must have the right to remix (copy and paste, etc.) information for your personal, educational use. I believe that information is for fiddling with, not just looking at. I believe that you, a paying customer, should and must not be treated like a freaking criminal and subjected to ludicrous, draconian restrictions on how you manipulate data you paid for for you own consumption. The MoëSP is easy to copy and paste and otherwise manipulate digitally for your personal, educational use, so that you can get the maximum possible value out of it. That, and, you can do all those little things like resize the text to a size that fits you exactly, not to just one of three lame presets.

And so it came to pass that you buy 1 big thing (the MoëSP), but you get five big things (and that’s not even counting the free smile! ⁶). Win, win, win, win right?

Oh, who am I kidding? What a load of bull. I lied. I’m lying. It’s all a lie. I’m not giving away those premo freebies ⁷ because I’m nice (I’m not nice). I’m doing it to kind of ease the shock of how hardcore the MoëSP is. I want to mitigate its effect a bit. Because it’s that shocking.

So, just in case the MoëSP is too real for you, too much for you, which it may well be, at least you have these nice, tame freebies to ease the…psychological trauma of what you’re about to read.

The Moë Sentence Pack: The Most Dangerous and Sinfully Sexy Sentence Pack Ever Created. Available only on until February 14 (Earth Time) at the latest, because I can’t just have content like this just flying around AJATT.com. Enjoy. And. Happy VD ⁸. Giggity, giggity, giggity.

Get Yours Now, While You Still Can

PS: Technically, the Moë Sentence Pack isn’t 萌え (moë). I’m afraid it’s nowhere near that tame. The MoëSP is, in fact, エロい (eroi). I just couldn’t bring myself to call it the Eroi Sentence Pack. I…yeah. We’ve discussed this already. Image and stuff. Can’t just have…etc., etc.

PPS: For your safety, there are no images in the MoëSP. The text is wild enough. And extremely NSFW.

PPPS: Seriously. If you want to have any innocence left, don’t buy this. And if you’re under 18, definitely don’t buy this. In fact, let’s just pretend it doesn’t exist and close this chapter of AJATT history, shall we?. We can just act like this whole thing never happened, huh? How about it? It’s probably sold out anyhow. The Internet’s probably down anyhow. Don’t you have dentist’s appointment today? Huh? Why not just go tidy your room or something? It could use a good tidying. You’re not exactly Captain McClean of the USS Hygiene lately. Yeah…and what about that novel you’ve been planning to write? You know…^{that novel?…With the protagonist and the characters and the narrative arc? The little novel…}

Fo’ Shizzle Refund Guarantee

Buy it. Try it. No likey? No payey. Hey. I don’t even want to sell this sentence pack. It’s too hardcore. As far as I’m concerned, the world would be a better place if this thing simply didn’t exist. Plus, I mean, I can’t just have content like this just flying around. If you don’t like it, keep your copy and ask me for a full refund. Just send an email to refund at ajatt dot com with the subject line: “I love you, Khatz. You’re the best I’ll ever have. I just want a refund for the MoëSP. I promise I’ll be back.”.